The day has pretty much come to an end, its ten o'clock and i could go to bed. Somehow i'm not ready to yet though. Today was my last day at the paint shop. i am sad to leave. i made some pretty good friends there. I am sad it took me so long to get to know them, especially rebecca. oh well. everything happens for a reason.

went to bookman's today to look for a book for the library reading club over the summer, but i couldn't find it. i was overwhelmed by all the books. i hadn't had anything to eat, i think that was why. i wonder why i am so afraid of hunger? I have survived it before and yet it can make me so insecure. very strange.

If you think about it, libraries are very crowded places. What are people but a series of sequential ideas and experiences with a physical body in common? what are books but a record of ideas and experiences? If you assume that the abridged version of a person (all the relevant, interesting stuff) equals about two good sized books than a big bookstore is really the equivalent of hundreds if not thousands of people, lined up in neat rows.

speaking of books, i'm out of them. time for another library trip.

My goals this summer are:

1. To build better relationships with the members of my family. I missed out on this when I was younger because I wasn't really in a place where I could interract with others in a positive way so this summer I will catch up. This is my number one goal for the summer.

2. To get a job I can support. Most of the places I have worked have been places where I didn't agree with what we were doing, how we were doing it, or why we were doing it. This summer I want a job where I can honestly say to myself that I provide a valuable service for the money I am paid. I don't think that is asking too much.

3. I am going to get back in touch with friends from highschool. I met some awesome people there and I want to catch up with them.

Freshman year of college.

That was a tough one.