yesterday was amazing.
i had forgotten how much i like doing things alone, nobody to slow me down and ruin beautiful moments.
i hiked mt. elden. i had been wanting to do that for a long time. it was about a five mile hike, i think. it was a little difficult to figure out the distance because it is pieces of different trails. it was really amazing.

i miss california in the rain.

my heart is hurting
i do not know why

i fear i have many things yet to hear.

Last night i dreamt of losing shoes along the freeway, of trying to tie them on so they would stay as cars whizzed carelessly by, my only friends the homeless old men who cheered me on.

Today at work I scraped paint at Mt. View with tim and jerry. It was nice actually, much more enjoyable than i expected. To peel off old paint while they talked of climbing mountains and radio shows.

at the break table corney said we were the full color spectrum. the other guys laughed and picked on him as they do, but he was right, we are the whole spectrum.

today i drove up to school alone. On a sunny plateau i saw a perfect rainbow, all the colors crisply outlined. red orange yellow green blue indigo purple.

it was amazing.

we got a snow day today!

but

it happened while my boyfriend is gone.

why?
i miss him now. if i was busy i wouldn't miss him so much. a snow day would be so much fun if he were here.

i have stuff i could do on my own

but i don't really feel like doing it.

poo.

come home.

i miss you.

What's the difference between the right and the wrong path? i don't think there is one. it's just a path. and you're on it. everything is the product of what has gone before it, and everything works out in the end.

Every day, and in every way, i'm getting better all the time...

hehe

i hiked a frikkin lot today. i didn't plan on doing it, but it was fun. it was at least ten miles down and up a steep canyon wall through mud and slippery snow. long story how i ended up on this hike without knowing it.

you know what's retarded? all tv commercials really, but the one that is bothering me right now are all of those scented plug-in/aerosol sprays that they show killing a green nasty stench emmanating from a trash can.

why don't they just take the frikking trash out instead of spraying horrible chemicals in their homes.

chemicals kill.

cancer diabetes hormonal disorders

this hideous lie is running around the country that household germs are so dangerous and the solution is flinging hideous nasty chemicals everywhere.

did you know that triclosan, the main disinfectant in antibacterial soaps antibacterial sprays antibacterial anything and is now impregnated into some baby toys is nearly identical in structure to DDT?

the "official" stance on this chemical is that it is safe. some short term studies have determined it to be safe.

DDT is pretty safe for the short term too.

long term it is a carcinogenic endocrine disruptor.

disgusting
disgusting
disgusting.

ignorance.